As your life is shared with many others, it can sometimes be the case that you upset a loved one, friend or colleague with a careless word or action. Although it may never have been your intention to cause hurt, an apology is what is needed to make such a difficult situation better. There are many ways though to offer an apology when “sorry” seems to be the hardest word.
Apologizing Face-to-Face
One of the most effective, and also most difficult, ways to apologise is in person. Being able to say sorry face-to-face to somebody you have upset shows a great deal of courage and a real commitment to repairing a relationship that may have been damaged. When apologising in person, be sure to create and maintain eye contact so that the other person is aware of your sincerity. Once you’ve taken a deep breath and started, it won’t seem so bad. Say only what is necessary to convey your message and be sure not to make excuses or trivialise the situation. You can find more helpful tips on what to do and not do when apologizing in Some Dos and Don’ts of Apologizing- Tips for Saying Sorry Efectively.
“I’m Sorry” over the Phone
Although not as personal as a face to face conversation, a phone call can be an acceptable means of communicating an apology. In this case, the phone call should be kept brief and concise, quickly identifying the issue and why you have called to apologise. The recipient may require some take-up time and so be sure to end the conversation by leaving open the option for a follow up conversation at the recipient’s convenience.
Writing a Letter, Email or Send a Card to Say You’re Sorry
It is often easier to write your feelings than it is to verbalise them. Sending a card or letter of apology can certainly break the ice in situations where a conversation may initially seem too hard. Like all apologies, careful wording is needed when sending a written apology as it must be remembered that the non-verbals of eye contact and tone of voice are not in play to support the sincerity of the sorry. Including a small lottery ticket, bookmark or other little token of friendship can be a nice touch also.
Bearing a Gift to Break the Ice
A small and simple gift can sometimes say almost much as words although apologising in this manner needs to be done with care. A potted plant accompanied by a short note saying something along the lines of “sorry, would love our friendship to keep growing” might be taken sincerely by one recipient but may be perceived by another to be avoiding the issue. When choosing to fix a bad by way of a gift, be sure that the recipient would be one to appreciate the spirit that it is given in. Never make such a gift extravagant or over the top as this will only imply that you may be attempting to buy forgiveness. Do remember that the gift alone is not an apology in itself and needs to be accompanied by some words too!
Saying Sorry with a Hug
A hug can fix many things and is one way to let somebody know that you are sorry. The physical intimacy of a hug conveys much feeling and quite often has the instant ability to heal rifts. Even better, combine one of the other means of apology mentioned above with a hug to really show that you are genuinely sorry.
Doing a Nice Gesture to Apologize
A simple gesture of kindness will certainly let a person know that you are thinking about them in a caring way. It may not effectively address the issue that led to conflict and for which you are sorry, but it could certainly open channels of communication for a follow up apology that will clear the air and re-establish the relationship.
Apologies won’t undo the hurt or harm that may have already been done, but they do go a long way towards restoring dignity and repairing damaged relationships. Whether you choose to apologise in person, via writing or over the phone, do take care to convey that your apology is genuine, heartfelt and that it comes with an unconditional desire to fix whatever the problem may have been.
Shari Brewer - Shari Brewer is a secondary school teacher living in Queensland, Australia. Her classroom experience lies in the subject areas of Senior ...
